wat is ife???? mayb il neva kno!!

life..at its utmost advantage.......
wat do we expect outa life???
thngs to go da ryt way always>>??
yes...dats wat we wan....no matter wat we do...no matter wat we donot do.....
we wan...life shud be at its best....we wan...evry1 shud understnd our state of mind...we wan...evry1 shud understnd,...wat we wer feelin at sum moment.......n dat is y we wan....life shud be at its best!!!!
hey...but maximum times wat do we get???
al sortsa complications....wich we need to handle ourselves!!
sumtyms complications..w.r.t frnz........
we are sumtyms..entangled in our own relations....always wonderin wat to do..n wat nt to do...whom to be wid..n whom not to....whom to accept...n whom to reject.....
it's a dilemma......bt we neda handle it ourselves!! cz its we who mak our own future.......

in life..we cum across..many ppl....sum very sweet..sum very innocent..
sum very smart...sum very clever.....n sum..simply unpredictable.......

we find ppl...who r always der fr us...we find ppl...who wil be der..only wen dey see sum benefits in bein der......we find ppl...who try to show off....n we find ppl....who are da most adorable frnz.....

we hav to chose our company...cz its we who decide our future,,,.....
our actions decide our destiny.......
wat if..in dis process...of acceptin n rejectin.....we finally find ourselves....al alone.....we find ourselves...left al by ourselves??????
wel..da best solution is again us.....
we hav ta decide our future...we shape our destiny!!
n hence...we must be strong enough to lead on da race o life......we must be bold enough...to be da leaders of our own world.......
we must be capable enough..to prove our mettle........

so...wedr we hav ppl in our lives...or we don......we hav to win da battles of our own lives.......
its we who rule our lives......

the ruler is alwys da almamator......
the ruler rules oneself....
the ruler will rule da wrld!!!

so wedr u undrstnd or u don...
liv ur life....as if ur da only one..born to rule the wrld.....
n if nt da wrld...............ur life will be urs!!!

all hail.......
dranzer

the four horsemen of the Apocalypse are the forces of man's destruction in the Christian Bible in the chapter Six of the Book of Revelation. the four horsemen are traditionally named after the powers they represent. Pestilence, Famine, War & Death...the horses they represent...

White, Black, Red & Pale..respectively....

wel so as to start with....

he's ma favorite bollywood actor!!

from his very 1st muvie...KNPH....

i juz had a feelin....he's da ultimate....

n i stil feel da same!!

no matter..if he had to face a few dwnhills....

he is da actor..whom i fantasy in muvies.....

srk is fyn......but..hrithik....i find no match to him...be it his actin....or dancin..or expressions..or luks.....

hrithik roks!!

n thnx to him..dat i stil hav dat craze fr da hindi muvies!!!!!!

skulls.....

dey r hauntin.....

bt dats da style........

dey maku luk devilish........

n dats wat dis image reminds me of...

da eyes,,.....

da ferocious look.........

a hauntin movie....

da SKULL KING o da wrld.....

da eyes say it all....

da grief..

da pain...da emotions....

u can see it all....

da eye......

da most expressive......o al da signs...

fr love,hatred,regret,disgust,grief,passion...speechlesnes.....

wen sum1 cant say sumtin......u gota luk at da eyes.............

dey simply say it all..........

eyes.......da ultimate beuty....

a corner of ur room.....thots prevailin....n u see..someone's shadow.....
u wernt expectin dat person.......
n ur thots meddlin wid each oder......
a dazed enquirin look......
wonderin......wat m i suposd to do nw....i don wan dat person...to decipher ma emotns....
sumwat lik dis.......
i luv dis image.....
n i hope u lik it too....

art has always fascinated me....

its art...dat i can realy plunge into.........

da depths of reality.......in da midst o fancied strokes of da pen n da brushes!!!!!!

c da wrld....thru da vision o da shades o da wrld!!!!

the enigma of vibrant colours........

DIWALI...ECHOES OF DA PAST.....MEMOIRS O DA PRESENT...

DIWALI.......

the festival of lights....

its yet anoder yr....wen time passes by..we neva get to kno.....
yet anoder diwali...
i stil remember...celebratin..it wid ful enthu...da enlivened vigour..
alas...
it was 2 yrs ago...
i wok up in da mornin....
wakin up..n runnin to da collection o fire crackers!!!
i so luv dem!!
dats da 1st thng i do.....
i see its huge..
various kindsa rocket.....dat illuminate da sky..amazingly wel...n surprisnigly beautiful!!
da triple sound bomb...anar...chakri....etc..
evrytin....
o m so excited!!!!!

da aftrnun passes in gettin ready n al...
its eve.....
we hav in tradition dat v gals.....decorate our favorite hangout place wid beautiful rangoli n "gharounda"
i indulge maself in da task....i make a surprisingly awesum rangoli...!!!
satisfied wid ma work.....
i go upto dad...n ask him...wat next to do.....
he assigns me n ma bro....da task o illuminatin r balcony n terrace..wid "diyas"
we cheerfully tak al da "diyas" in trays...n start off wid da work.......
i guess..u al kno hw beautiful da diyas luk....wen dey kindle altogedr!!!
dat was r balcony n terrace!! da best view..dat ny1 can eva get!!! cz we always put up so many diyas....dat r eyes...wud simply nt go off da beauty o da light!!!

our home lukd auspicious!!!!
it was da best decorated house in da vicinity...!!
"diyas"..dey make da nyt so beautiful..........

dun wid da task.....
we'r askd to put on r new clothes...n get ready fr da much awaited puja......
da "ganesh n lakshmi" worship........
we r suposd to light da "diyas" in evry rum...
n den..start off wid da puja...in da main rum.....

da puja dun,....
nw we r permitted to burst da crackers!!!!!!!!!!
n we shoot offf to da noisiest start!!!
me ma bro n ma dad!!(mom's too scared o firewrks..!!bt stil she can manage wid lightin da "anar"!!!!)
n dats a start!!!!!
den al r family frnz..assemble at r home...
n al peers.....cum up...n make up a rokin DIWALI!!!!!!


bt its nt same since da past 2 yrs.......
i mis ma home....
i mis ma diwali......
i mis ma family.....
i wish...i was wid u al nw........
i so mis dis............

bt life is suposd to be livd!!!!
nt evrytim is it...dat we get wat we desire!!!!!

n so i make up ma mind!!!!!

diwali in manipal!!!
diwali wid frnz!!!!

dats an entirely difrnt feel!!!!
evry1 out on da roads....
da decorated hostel n streets in da campus.....
da firewrks...startin!!!!
thngs r so difrnt...yet so pleasin!!!!

all da hullahooo....at da sight o amazin firewrks...at KC....n KMC GREENS......
da smoke.....
da smell of crackers....
experiencin al dis wid frnz....
is simply amazin.......!!!!

da tensn free lyf...
da extended perm....
da lively roads...
da silent walk...in da midst o da noisy crackers........
da hrt felt feelins...al shared widout da knowledge o oders....

da huggin each oder..wishin wid gud hrt..."a very happy diwali!!!"
da dressin up...in da indian style....
da beauties.. n da dudes flashin da roads...in da light o diwali.......

da bonds o frnship.....juz reachin newer heights..
meetin al old frnz...who many a tyms...wer neva evn seen out on da roads...
students nt bodrd bt end sem prac exams...juz cz its da eve o da most auspicious n da most lively festival.....DIWALI!!!!

evn tho i miss ma family...
evn tho i miss celebratin diwali at home...

sumwer deep down der.....i hear a voice callin.....

"hey sweetie.....u gotta liv a new life...njy...hav fun.....A VERY VERY HAPPY DIWALI!!!!!!"


A HAPPY N AUSPICIOUS DIWALI TO ALL OF U OUT HERE!!!!!!

LET'S ROCK IT!!!!!!!!

MIRTH

it was yet anoder nit,
but sumtin was unusual,
it was dark for sure,
but was fearsome,
intermittent showers
accompanied lashing gusts of wind,
just as my love accompanies me..

flashes of lightning
revealed the lonely streets,
just as the light of my mind
reveals my heart-felt feelins for him..

eerie laughter
got mixed up
with the growl of the atmosphere,
just as my thots get mixed up,
with the fake worldly pleasure..

in this confused atmosphere,
i lay alone thinkin bout him,
cherishin the memories..
that are vivid to the core...

my heart's longin for him,
to be by his side,
as he's out of sight...
i wish i had him now...

the dark hours enthral me,
i miss his wordz,
i miss his presence,
i wish he was here...

the hours are gettin solitary,
the night gettin more fearsome n dreary,
but wait...i think i'm seein sumtin..
what is it?
i walk straight towards it,
the night thrustin its atmosphere..
i see someone...
YES,i see HIM!

he was there,
all that time,
and i was just,i think...
out of my mind..

he was there seein thru
my Feelins,
waitin for me to realise,
that he was there all thru those reelins..

i think we know each other..
just as the nightloves its eerie slaughter..
we love this MIRTH
that amuses us on this earth
we love this live,
and we'll live forever...
together,for each other..

the night's fadin,
i see light at my window,
i see light of our relationship,
i see our love,
and feel satisfied...
I LOVE THIS MIRTH,
of every such night!

aakanksha verma.

da shadow of the lively life....

life is not so easy as it seems to be...
frnz..cum n frnz go..
life sumtyms feels synonymous to a wallet....da notes come n da notes go...
n wen..ur left wid no single note..depictin dat indian essence....ur da one in despair n ditress..
u feel lik..borrowin da notes....
u feel lyk..aquirin dem...as soon as possible...
u feel lyk....life is impossible widout da silver n green notes.......
u feel...ur helpless...
same way.....life goes..wen it comes to frnz....
wen..u hav..frnz..who seem true to u...
ur da happiest person....
but wen....
da frnz...seem to leave u behind...
u start missin dem..n der prized company....
u feel helpless.......
ur life is like an empty wallet....
all left alone..
wid no1 to to rejuvenate wid!!

life in manipal fr me.....sumtyms seems to be so.....
wen i sit bak...al alone..n thnk o da tyms...spent wid ma frnz......
sumhw...i feel...dat i neva had ny frnz.....n mark ma wrdz.....
sumtyms.......
n dats juz sumtyms!!
bt stil derz dis feelin.....
if i wana share sumtin.....wid sum1...i juz get a feelin....dat its nt possible to do so.....dey wer nevr dat close....dat i can thnk o sharin....
but....den i thnk..
its juz a waste thnkin al dis......
sumtyms...life can be livd in da shadows.......
n sumtyms....
its better dat lyf is livd in da shadows.....
hav felt...dat i shud stop thnkin dat deep.....
n thnkin....wel....i thnk i juz hav few frnz.....
with whom.....at least...da lyf can go easy.......

sumtyms.....its we..who neda rise in life.....
n nt always...expect oders to rise upto our levels.....

so......expectin a lyf......i li'l less in da shadows........
hav fun all u ppl out der...
n if u feel...dat ur feelin...da need o a close frn.....
juz close ur eyes...
n thnk bt ur lyf.....
thnk bt da happier moments.....
dats da best solutn.....
n ul feel.....life's da best gift u hav ever had!!!!!!!!!

again a snap by da same frnd...!!
da breath-takin malpe beach!!

snap by ma frnd....
beautiful kapu beach...lighthouse view

IT WAS ONLY FOR YOU MY GOOD FRIEND!

I hear you calling me
late in the night.
I wake in wet darkness
to your music,
Splashing in my ears,
Murmuring " the call for heaven"in hot tears.

I am calm,
But that pain in your voice,
That urge to have me as your friend,
In the journey to heaven,
That sensation...
To free my soul from that worldly prison,
Ah! That feeling...

Life was moving on,
With nothing to rejuvenate with,
A plain blunt life,
That had no reason,
To be walked with.

I am in a dilemma,
Confused at what to think,
What to reconsider-"To live for my life,
Or to die for my pal.

"The emotions are wild,
Both thoughts having
immense gravity in reason,
I hear your music,
I hear that urge,
And I hear my evil insight-
Warning me to be smart
and let go off my friend.
" I know, I can't do that!"

I had your hand clutched in mine,
you were reeling in agony,
I realized,
You needed my company.
My evil insight forcing me
to let go off you,
And my soul...
Pining to get hold of you...
In this withering battle,
I feel my soul leaving me,
Only to give you company.

The evil in me still wanting
to live it's life,
And the good in me,
In an attempt to free its life...
Both at odd ends,
I felt the shudder...
My soul left,
Leaving behind a cold end,
Only to be with my cold friend!

I lay there,
As calm as I ever could have been,
I understood,
I always wanted this,
But never had the guts,
I always wanted to die...
But like you my friend,
I was afraid
to lead a lonely death.
I know you are bold enough,
To make your way through,
All by yourself,
But, I also know,
"Good friends always make good company!"

The answer was easy-
You gave me the guts to do
what I always wanted,
You made me feel,
What's life after death...
That I always wanted to explore,
You made me feel,
I was never alone to die-
To live life after death,
You made me feel that agony of the night,
And you made me feel...
That I was always right!

I don't know if I am happy,
To let go off that world-So easily...
But, I do know one thing:
If I left that world,
With such an ease...
It was only for you
MY FRIEND,
Who was always there for me,
In all odds and ends!
IT WAS ONLY FOR YOU MY GOOD FRIEND!

Aakanksha Verma

IMMORTAL LOVE.......

the evil world’s Sinister,
enthralled my love,
i was convicted,
and my life on earth ended.
the journey was lonely,
i missed that company..
days passed,
as if it were years,
my Death was a Solitary Life,
I wish...
i had with me my ‘Pride’.

it was just few days back,
when i was seen with my beloved lass,
we were lovers,
no less than others,
what if, we were found together,
we also had a right,
to commit ourselves to each other.
no mortal understood this,
she said, “It’s not a common world’s deal,
let the World Err,
and fend the truth of our relationship so pure,
we’ll not deter,
and will live forever, for each other.
we are each other’s pride,
and one day I’ll be your bride.”
even today, her words are as fresh,
as the pleasant honeydew,
it reminds me of her serenity,
as ethereal as eternity....

and then the dark hours came,
i regret not what happened to me,
it’s her destiny that’s worrying me,
no matter if they held me by their weapons,
no matter if my eyes were laden with hot tears,
no matter if i bled to death,
no matter if my life ended,
and i’m in Hell, not in Heaven...
what matters to me is..
Her Destiny,
Her life,
that’s bereaved of my company.

i am not in Heaven,
and even i should not be,
i am convicted of ruining her life,
i ought to deserve this,
and i’ll bear it happily,
ONLY for my beloved,
whose future lies beheaded,
only because of me.
if only had i cared for the consequences then,
if only my love was not so selfish then,
she would have been happy,
even at this very moment ,
she would have been leading a life,
all so very pleasant,
if only....

now i can’t do anything for her,
but can just wish for something better,
if i asked for my living again,
i know, it’ll not be rendered,
i can just ask for something better,
not for me,
but for my Darling Feather,
i just wish she’ll live forever,even without me.......
happily ever.

let her forget my memories,
if her life’s bereaved of me,
it should be bereaved of every such thing,
that reminds her of me.
that’s the best that i can ask for her,
so that she lives her youthful treasure,
to the ultimate Utmost Pleasure.

what if, i’m not there,
it does not matter,
i know there’s a lover,
who’ll love her more than she can dream of,
after my repose- that’ll last forever.
and, if he falters at any juncture,
she need not worry,
coz’ i know the Almighty will grant me with this;
i’l ask for being with her forever,
let Him not gift me my living,
i’ll ask Him for my life...
and ask Him for one favour-
for my soul, my life;
for ‘Her’ sake, if her mortal lover ever wavers,
He’ll embellish ‘his’ love,
by piercing my soul once and forever
To give out its unparalled love,
to the heart of that mortal lover,
so that, my ‘Pride’,never faces a sodden strife,
but, be the bride,to the love of this Immortal’s LIFE,
which’ll live forever,
only to flourish HER life.

Aakanksha Verma.

evanescence..

da beautiful maple leaves...

echoes o da past

aaaahhhh.......
life in manipal....
notin to describe...
no words to suffice its magnificence.....
it seems juz a day back.....wen i was sittin in ma hall.....sailin thru da tv telecast of many of ma favorites!!
ma mom was der to ask me"wat do u wan beta fr dinr...pakin kar li????"
n i say it to her..widout evn..considerin twice..."mama...rajma chawal abhi bana do na...kal subah to late soke uthungi.....kal sunday hai...."
she replies.."beta....aj raat ko train hai...tumhe jana hai...nayi zindagi hogi....coleg life ki shuruat hai......itni jaldi bhul gayi!! kaise rahogi tum akele......"
i sudenly wak up frm ma trance.....n i realise......yes...im goin......i am goin to leave ma home....dat has been so dear to me for all of ma life.......im gonna leave dat........i sigh...
dis is but da truth!!!

i luk bak into dis past....i stil dream...as if it was yesterday.......
i miss ma home...
i miss ma family...ma dad,mom n my sweet li'l bro..............i miss u......
i miss ma frnz....ma so gud frnz....who neva left me alone.....who wer always der wid me......evn wen i din need them!!!(hehe...dat shows...dey wer der wid me frevr!!!!)
i miss dat life.....i miss ma emotnal self...dat was so happy!!!

it might not be yesterday......but yes.......life in manipal sure is great.....
it brings me outa ma sadness......it makes me feel alive.....
evn tho i miss ma closed ones........
it has brot me closer to da real life....
i kno i hav to face da wrld.......
wat betr place cud i hav got......odr dan our very own manipal!!!!

agony..

it dsn't matter anymore..
i feel emptiness gripping me..
can't imagine this death...
but dis is da truth...
i'm nearin it..
i thnk of ma frnz..
thnk of ma luv..
al wer so faithful..
their luv was so passionate..
a frnd fr a frnd..
a luv fr a luv..
i'm leavin dem behind..
i miss ur presence..
i miss this light..
i sink deep into da darkness..
bring me to life...
i'm dyin...

A BOND OF LOVE....

(a young guy for a girl…not his love but his jewel..his true friend…)
With every seconds as the minutes passed
I was no more than a memory past,
My heart was sinking,my eyes were winking
As the tiny drops made their way to my arms.

It was then when I realised,
Because I did not apologise
My friendship got at stake,
I tried to,
but it wasn't my mistake.

Few hours back she loved me more than anybody else
Now,she hated me as if I was somebody else,
The tender love which was once for me
Is now,but for others and not for me.

The sun was already about to set
The wind was blowing and the weather was wet,
There was no chance for me to be myself again
When,I heard a knock very then.

In such a gloomy weather
I wondered who came to hither,
I opened the door,and,whom do I see?
The very person who hated me.

I could not believe,she was at my door
Standing as if,was there to adore,
And now she got quite near
While nearing she repressed a tear.

She embraced me with a hug
I know not why,
She knelt on the rug
But began to cry.

When I enquired the cause
She stopped with a pause,
Her cheeks were still bedewed
With tears of thoughtful gratitude.

She started,but she could not say
When I urged,she began to say:
"One of our companions,who was jealous of our union
Made me believe his words.
I did not understand your silence,
but,probably I understood his words.
I apologise for my fault,
For,it was then when the fancy passed by,
and then,when nothing remained.
It was all because of me,
I failed to recognise thee"

It was becoming difficult,for the words to be uttered
Her sobs made it so,
I tried to convince her,
but my words muttered
As forgiveness was not easy for me, to grant so.

But her words were sufficient,
I knew she was obedient,
Obedient not only to me,
But also to her friendship with me.

That's all what I can say
What moved me away,
To make friendship with her,
the one,not in vain
A bond of love,which can never be broken again.

Aakanksha Verma.