RECORDING .......... 2

recording: 04:36 am

rooftop, chilly wind, rustle of the leaves, a bright moon, deathly shadows...

meandering bats speckling the lights from the mighty ITPL edifices...

a pristine view...nature at its best.

back against the railing...a folded knee...

a battered laptop (..oh its still new!! ) ...

a numbness, a calm..

a serene flavor...

i wonder when i had this peace of mind...

seems to me like an era has flown past right before my eyes.....

yet another long day....

work on a saturday...yeah i knw it sux... ##@@###...

some awesome Bleach thereafter......

a bit of Mafia Wars spacing the gaps...

###...Oh i should have gotten a jacket here ^^&&###

freezing......

04:50 am [armed wid my jean jacket]

// don't knw y i want to get this recorded.....it juz needs to be...//

it's those small moments that matter in the end......

9th December 2010... 11:00 pm....

Hostel room #746...4 friends....

the normal gossip routine....

whats the hot movie in town....

ohh he looks so good......

ohh shez so yuck.......

ohh the two of them together $$%% God save the souls!! @#$....

2 battered laptops ( oh dese r very old!! )...

ION wi-fi....some crappy youtube videos.....

some old memories.......

some impish laughs...

some puny cell phones....

last day of end sem......last exam of our lives.......

a happiness bound by no chains....

a sense of freedom.....

the last day in college.....

an internship to look forward to...

a job to dwell upon.........

wat a day it was....

ppl partying hard......after al it was CS that always got done wid its exams first...

oders still savoring our excitement......evn tho dey had exam fvr over der head....

it was the best feelin ever.....

---------------------------------------

a night that no one can ever forget.......

---------------------------------------

11:15 pm

constant beeping of those puny beings...

ohh ppl shud learn how we ignore \m/

no1 shud interfere....we were havin our imperishable moments together....

2 missed calls....3 missed calls...4th missed call...

5th....my friend had to take dis call dis time...it was juz too much....

a faint smile as she said hello... (why so many calls dude..!! )

a devouring tear the next moment......

the three of us were appalled.......what happened????.....was what evry1's expression pored into her eyes...

the world stood still...we had to get her off the call.....we had to know..what made her snap in an instant...

we had to know....we had to know........

11:30 pm

at first it didn't register....it just didn't register.......it simply dint......

11:40 pm

WHAT!!!! HOW!!! WHY!!! WHY NOW!!! WHY TONIGHT!!! WHY THIS MOMENT????

11:50 pm

calls calls and more calls....evry1 was talkin....wid evry1 ........

juz too many calls.......

12:30 am

6th floor balcony......1 abandoned chair....on that..sat one abandoned soul....

01:00 am

Too much to reason....too much to dwell upon...what internship what job.....its all materialistic...

how does it even matter......

02:00 am

tears found der way to dis world.....

03:00 am

it all registered....

it finally did......

04:00 am

Life is so short.....y do we even bother to run aftr things that dont matter.....

excessive money...compelling work life...obsessive dreams....

for whom? for what purpose??

You should live it the best way you can NOW not strive to make it the best..for a time..ur NOT EVEN sure of........

Life is just a bitch.....lez not make it worse.....

05:00 am

It was just today morning..the time right before our last exam....

He said....aur Aakanksha....aj Dee Tee pe milte hain fir...all the best for our last exam... :)

that smile.....that last look..i still remember......... 

its etched deep down my memory lane........

A deathly bike....a cursed tanker.....

I wish we had more time...........i wish the doctors were more efficient...

I wish....it wasnt you......how cud it be u.......we used to sit in the adjacent benches...

4 yrs in one section...always the same room......

neva thot wud feel it so close to my heart...dis feelin of emptiness......

i wish i had no soul........

The way you called out my name...the way i cud neva forget....

the birthday party.....

the DJing together.....

Dose bihari songs......

Dat dance floor.....

I cud still see u der.........

Y u o friend...y u........

Wish you were here.......

Wish u cud c dis...

wish i cud reverse the particles of time....

and juz remove dat death road from the journey of your life.....

Wish dat no such thing ever happens...to neone i know.....neone i care about....

Loved ur company my friend......

Such a happy soul u were...

just wen i was starting to wonder....wud i ever be able to meet my friends...how will i make al dat happen...

we should find some way to keep up in our lives....just wen i was planin our future meetins wid al my pals...

it turns out...i will NEVER be able to meet that one friend...with that smile....

i dont think it will ever sink in.....i dont think il ever believe this happened.......

$$$########...........present day.........%$$$$$$$$$$$$%

05:39 am

I think I can see you amongst those bright stars......

That star..smiling right back at me...that star....saying....hey Aakanksha...kaisi hai tu....

like he alwas used to say........

###.......$#$%$%^.........y is it still freezing out here.......#$..%%^^^.......

I had my jacket on......yes i did........i went back n i got to my room....n i picked that jean jacket up....

i remember doing that.......it was dark....c!! i even forgot my slippers in the process......

##$$....%%^^

If i did not pick the jacket up....then what was that warm touch wen i picked it up???????

$%%%%%%..............it's not a goood feeeeling.......#@@@@.........



PREQUEL: "RECORDING....."

SWEET DREAMS..

the aroha,

oh..the wine,

a pristine shiver

immaculately divine

words suffice not

to live the fear

oh..my precious..

are u here?

my eyes are cold

i see obscure

oh..wait..

is it just the emotionless galore?

the verses peachy

the promises sore

oh..a wonder

is there not a soul?

a gentle touch

a soft kiss

a sweet whisper

an enchantment pure

a numbness of time

an immortal synchrony

oh..thy embrace

a different world

it's beauty divine

a bed of reality

roses unreal

amongst fake mortals

a dream so real

the aroha,

oh..the wine

a pristine shiver

immaculately divine

AUXESIS

In the shattered reflection of the Past I dwell,
Was it memories or feelings, it’s hard to tell;
My mother’s cry, my father’s hell,
My sister and I have a story to tell.

Ages passed by, the road was our haven;
A dime, a coin; amongst none we were mistaken,
Inedible trash, unfathomable living;
Oh, poor soul don’t worry,
My sister and I are far from complaining.

It was few years to crawl out of adolescence,
an angel, a beauty, my sister;
my neighbors cried of insolence.

I worked all day, I worked all night;
my master’s glory, my mistress’ pride;
It was a dream that did not pass by.

It was one day, when that sire arrived;
accustomed to our presence,
on the street he stopped by,
A limo, the sire, in formals with a tie;
My master, my savior, my mentor in disguise.

A sister to take pride on married my master’s son,
a wonderful proposal, a beautiful wedding,
oh, what a joy was my master’s son.

The day of the past, a horrifying day;
My mother’s scream, a dreadful tale;
My father’s blade, my worst nightmare;
A fatal stroke, and the world went stale;
My mother’s body, the ceiling did she stare.

The sire was dying, lying bare on the road;
Another tale of murder, as a stone so cold;
I ran and ran, till I found a van;
I couldn’t save my mother,
couldn’t bear to see another so sore.

We all have difficult times I say,
May not be the past that I share,
Give up, grow up, life is a puzzle per se;
Change is persistent, misery is not;
Auxesis my friend, is how we live on.

the other side..

within these four walls
she lay confined...
from the daybreak
till the night...

what it feels when the sun is bright
what it feels when the rain shows its might
the oblong shadows
or the first drops from the sky
all is oblivion

the walls make haven
the Hell or the Heaven
the smile goes unnoticed
and so do the tears
within these four walls
who knows what breathes in here

the mind racing its thoughts
the heart pacing its beats
a deadly combination
but whoz there to see
within these four falls
life is like a sea

the images are revealing
the expressions are concealing
an undead state
for a dead fate
within these four walls
its only me at stake

the love for your love
the love for your friend
it all dies in an instance
the other side tries
the attempt fails with an instinct-
within those four walls
she decides to die

a fall from the rooftop
a dagger in the alcove
a staggering gunshot
a sip of the venom
within these four walls
she lay still
a pillow beside the bed
the soul sits by and kneels